Boogey Man

My father was not resistant to the power of M.O.M. either.   As a teenager, Nelly went through boys like raccoon goes through garbage cans.  She had been out with her flavor of the month on a date and arrived home late.  It was one of the oddest arrangements, this strange relationship she had.  See her boyfriend, Tom, would come to pick her up and bring along his “best friend”, Dick.  The three of them would go out on a date doing whatever it was they did.  When Tom would drop her off at home, he would kick Dick out of the van and he and Nelly would make out.  M.O.M. had a little wooden park bench up against a tree not far from her bedroom window, and Dick would retreat to this bench to stare blankly into the night while they steamed up the windows of the van. 

M.O.M. suggested to my father that they needed a scare, so dad donned an old black opera cape and one of those form fitting latex face masks that looks like an old man.  He picked up an unfinished sword he had been tinkering with and headed out the back door.  He ran through the backs of the neighbors’ yards so that he could cut up to the road from the farthest point and run toward our house from the road.  He ran down the driveway and toward the van while Dick sat stupefied on the bench watching. 

M.O.M. and I sat on the floor of her bedroom peeking out of the window watching and Dick never moved his head, we were beginning to wonder if he even saw what was going on.  Dad began to shake the van and jump up and down on the bumper, and then took back off down the driveway and around the side of the house.  This was the first movement we saw out of Dick, he remained motionless with the exception of his head which slowly turned to follow my dad’s flight down the driveway.  I couldn’t contain a snort of laughter, and hearing this, Dick jumped to his feet and looked around like a startled deer.

Dad ran back into the house and the two of them were standing at the door waiting for Nelly to come back up to the house.  Tom had walked her to the door and both were completely oblivious to what had happened until Dick filled them with barely concealed panic.  But the time they reached the front door, Nelly was blurting out the story to M.O.M. who very convincingly rolled her eyes and laughed it off with a scoff.

“Oh, you’re imagining things!  There’s nobody out here. “

Nelly, apparently thinking she could protect her boyfriend decided to walk him to the van, “Just to be safe.”   This was dad’s cue to run back out the back door.  This time they all saw him, Dick ran in the direction of the bench, Tom dove into the van and locked the doors, locking my sister out, and Nelly having no other direction to go, shot past my dad, and up to the front door.  M.O.M. had pulled the storm door shut and locked it.  Nelly, half hysterical screamed “Let me in!”  M.O.M.’s reply left me in tears of laughter “No!  He’ll get in!” Obviously this wasn’t an acceptable answer to Nelly, who proceeded to rip the storm door open, breaking the handle and lock.  M.O.M. peed her pants. Nelly didn’t think it was very funny.  In the end, dad had to reveal himself to the boys because one of them pulled a knife on him.  Have I mentioned that my older sister doesn’t speak to any of us anymore?