I started dating my ex husband while we were in high school. His sister Missy was three years younger and had the typical teenage addiction to the telephone. In the early 90's, caller identification was a new feature and you had to pay extra to get it from the phone company, and cell phones certainly weren't carried by every 12 year old in the United States like they are today. So making a call to your boyfriend when he had a teenage sister was a bit of a trick.
I had been trying to reach him for half of the evening, and every time I would call, Missy would gruffly inform me that she was busy with the phone and I would simply have to wait. I can't recall anymore what the urgency was, or even if it was just a matter of I wanted to talk to my boyfriend, but it was about 3 hours later that I complained to M.O.M. that Missy was messing with me.
M.O.M. said "Give me the phone." I had no idea what to expect, but as you can imagine, I was a little bit nervous. That nervousness dissolved quickly to barely concealed laughter..
Missy answered the phone, and lacking caller ID, it didn't take any effort on M.O.M.'s part to convince her that she was someone else. "Hi there, this is Mrs. Easterwood, Dan's Word Power teacher, I need to speak with him, please."
Missy was pretty quick to give up her 3 hours phone call for a figure of authority such as a high school teacher. If you thought it would end there, you've not been paying attention. M.O.M. didn't just hand me back the telephone, no way, instead, she patiently waited for Dan to pick up.
She heard a tentative and somewhat meek "This is Dan."
She only lightly disguised her voice, "Hi Dan, how are you tonight?"
"Um, fine, thank you."
"Good, good! I just wanted to give you a call because you left your vocabulary list on your desk, and I thought you might like to have the list so you can study tonight for the test."
"Oh, ok, let me get a pencil."
Now, I'm not sure if she expected it to go this far, but she sat grinning as he nervously whispered to his sister why his teacher was calling and rummaged around for a pencil in a drawer. When he returned to the phone, M.O.M. continued the ruse.
"Okay, Dan, are you ready for the first word?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Okay, I think it will be easier if I spell this one out. Ready? I.A.M.A." the letters rolled smoothly off her tongue and she could hear him scratching them out on a piece of paper. She continued "D.U." She paused to let him catch up. "M.B.A." Another pause, "S. S."
He finished writing and said "Okay, got it. What's next?"
I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.
M.O.M. smiling said "Why don't you read that back to me."
There was a slight pause and then he began to read back the letters. Then he attempted to pronounce the word, "iamadumbass. I am a dumbass. Oh my God!" He realized he was talking to M.O.M., who passed me the phone, and much to the dismay and irk of Missy, I got to talk to Dan.
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